Here I am, at a cyber cafe...
It's really hard for me to get out from my "golden cage"...

Hmmmm... what to tell...?
Well, there's nothing much...
It has been almost a month since I can't use my phone...
And I have to adapt with this situation...
I've done a lot of problems...
There was once I thought about running away from home...
But hmmm...
Seriuosly, I felt like, my heart isn't here...
I've lost it...
Maybe, just maybe,
I've left it in Johor...
Hmmm...
Mom told me, if I want a phone, I have to get a job...
A job???
That means I have to work at least a month to get my own money...
Allah...
I have to wait again... Hmmm...
That's why I keep telling everyone...
The wealth in my family belongs to my parents...
I only get 1% from their money... Hmmm...
What should I do...Allah...

When the night falls,
I just watched TV, or played my guitar...
I have nothing to do...
Felt so lonely...
And longing for someone...
I'm longing for my Habib, my Mawaddah...
Hmmm...
Now, every night, before I sleep,
I will play my guitar,
And play any song...
But usually,
I play "Setiap Detik", "I Wanna Grow Old With You", "Replay", and "Dirimu Satu"...
Then, I'll grab the handkerchief she gave me,
Kiss it,
I put it right next to my head,
And lights off...
That's my night routine...

"Ya Allah,
Sampaikanlah rinduku padanya, Ya Allah...
Agar dia slalu merinduiku seperti mana aku merinduinya...
Ya Allah, aku memohon padaMu,
Jika dia adalah jodohku,
Permudahkanlah segalanya, dan janganlah Kau persulitkannya..
Jika dia bukan jodohku,
Kau jauhkanlah diriku darinya,
Dan jauhkanlah dirinya dariku,
Serta kurniakanlah kebahagiaan kepadanya di dunia dan akhirat...
Namun, aku mohon padaMu, Ya Allah,
Agar dialah jodohku...
Perkenankanlah doa hambaMu ini..."

Ya Habibi... maafkan sy sbab xdpat nak layan awak sperti yg spatutnya...
Maafkan sy atas sgalanya...
Sy hrap sgt agar awak dpat brsabar dgn sy...
In shaa Allah, sy ttap stia dgn awk...
Tapi, klau awk xthan, awak nak tinggal sy,
Sy xkan halang... sy sedar sy yg brslah...
Namun, sy hrap, awak stia dgn sy...
I miss you, Mawaddahu Qalbi...:'(

XOXO
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